Homer's Happy Christmas 2014

What a fantastic Christmas I had! I received a lot of presents (YAY!); got special treatment from my humans (YAY! YAY!); and ate loads of yummy food (MORE YAYS!).

But there’s one important guest without whom Christmas wouldn’t be the same. I had been really praying that he would show up. No folks, it’s not Santa. It’s someone even better… (drum roll please…)

THE TURKEY GOD!

Hang on. What if he decided not to show up this year? Wouldn’t it be a disaster for Yours truly?

I began to panic. I ran straight to the kitchen. To my relief, my fears were unfounded. The Turkey God had arrived after all!

Here he is, the Turkey God, sitting on the kitchen bench, looking grand and smug. This time he weighed in at an impressive 9KG (I mean impressive compared to last year, when he was only a scrawny 5KG!).

Regular readers will know that every year, without fail, I always worship the Turkey God alone. However, this year was an exception. I’ve recruited a new disciple – my baby sister, Savannah.

The Turkey God, Yours Truly and Little Savannah posing happily for the photographer.

As little Savannah was new to this ‘sacred’ ritual, I gave her a few instructions on what and how we must perform the rites.

Me barking instructions to my little sister.

Once we were ready, we closed our eyes and began to chant fervishly. The chanting got so intense that soon we were in a trance.

I was hoping that, this time around, with my little sister’s and my own combined forces, we could make the Turkey God fell from the bench. Alas, it was wishful thinking on my part. The Turkey God wouldn’t budge. He was too formidable.

Without warning, the Missus interrupted our ‘session’ by whisking the Turkey God away. While he was gone, I decided to take the opportunity to check out my Christmas presents.

Posing next to the Christmas tree, flooded with presents galore.

Here’s me with my presents. They were full of yummy treats!

And check-out all of the Christmas cards that I’ve received from my friends around the world! Thank you very much!

Suddenly, the heavenly aromas emitted by the Turkey God began to waft from the kitchen. Oh my Dog… He had risen!

There he was, displayed on the kitchen bench with his booti-ful tan. For some strange reason, I couldn’t resist licking my lips!

Here I am, waiting patiently for the mighty one to fall miraculously from the bench.

The waiting was too much for me and I soon fell fast asleep! Yikes!

By the time I had awoken, the Turkey God had mysteriously moved. But I still couldn’t get to him…

I thought I was never going to get my teeth stuck into that succulent (I mean ‘holy’) flesh...

…but then I saw some action. Dad was carving into the Turkey God…

Wait a minute. Could my efforts be beginning to pay off?

Ta-da. The Turkey God hadn’t fallen from the bench…but bits of him still ended-up in my bowl!

And here’s Yours Truly enjoying my Christmas lunch. ☺

Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas.

Love,
Homer