Homer's Happy Christmas 2014

What a fantastic Christmas I had! I received a lot of presents (YAY!); got special treatment from my humans (YAY! YAY!); and ate loads of yummy food (MORE YAYS!).

But there’s one important guest without whom Christmas wouldn’t be the same. I had been really praying that he would show up. No folks, it’s not Santa. It’s someone even better… (drum roll please…)

THE TURKEY GOD!

Hang on. What if he decided not to show up this year? Wouldn’t it be a disaster for Yours truly?

I began to panic. I ran straight to the kitchen. To my relief, my fears were unfounded. The Turkey God had arrived after all!

Here he is, the Turkey God, sitting on the kitchen bench, looking grand and smug. This time he weighed in at an impressive 9KG (I mean impressive compared to last year, when he was only a scrawny 5KG!).

Regular readers will know that every year, without fail, I always worship the Turkey God alone. However, this year was an exception. I’ve recruited a new disciple – my baby sister, Savannah.

The Turkey God, Yours Truly and Little Savannah posing happily for the photographer.

As little Savannah was new to this ‘sacred’ ritual, I gave her a few instructions on what and how we must perform the rites.

Me barking instructions to my little sister.

Once we were ready, we closed our eyes and began to chant fervishly. The chanting got so intense that soon we were in a trance.

I was hoping that, this time around, with my little sister’s and my own combined forces, we could make the Turkey God fell from the bench. Alas, it was wishful thinking on my part. The Turkey God wouldn’t budge. He was too formidable.

Without warning, the Missus interrupted our ‘session’ by whisking the Turkey God away. While he was gone, I decided to take the opportunity to check out my Christmas presents.

Posing next to the Christmas tree, flooded with presents galore.

Here’s me with my presents. They were full of yummy treats!

And check-out all of the Christmas cards that I’ve received from my friends around the world! Thank you very much!

Suddenly, the heavenly aromas emitted by the Turkey God began to waft from the kitchen. Oh my Dog… He had risen!

There he was, displayed on the kitchen bench with his booti-ful tan. For some strange reason, I couldn’t resist licking my lips!

Here I am, waiting patiently for the mighty one to fall miraculously from the bench.

The waiting was too much for me and I soon fell fast asleep! Yikes!

By the time I had awoken, the Turkey God had mysteriously moved. But I still couldn’t get to him…

I thought I was never going to get my teeth stuck into that succulent (I mean ‘holy’) flesh...

…but then I saw some action. Dad was carving into the Turkey God…

Wait a minute. Could my efforts be beginning to pay off?

Ta-da. The Turkey God hadn’t fallen from the bench…but bits of him still ended-up in my bowl!

And here’s Yours Truly enjoying my Christmas lunch. ☺

Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas.

Love,
Homer

Homer’s Little Helper

It’s that time of the year again. Christmas is around the corner and the time has come for Yours Truly’s yearly ritual of assembling the family Christmas Tree.

Of course, I am an old-hand at putting the tree up, as you can see from my exploits in Italy here and in Singapore here, here and here…

…but the darn thing doesn’t get any easier as the years go by!

Where the heck do I start?

After more than an hour or so, I’d only managed to complete the first tier. As you can see, I was looking pretty forlorn.

By the time I had got to the damned lights, I was downright despondent!

Suddenly I had a brainwave! Why don’t I get some help from my little sister?

I took Savannah’s answer to mean “Yes Homer, I’d be delighted to help you.”

So, while Savannah got on with sorting out the lights, I ‘retrieved’ the Christmas Tree baubles.

Look at my, ahem, ‘shiny red balls’.

I took my time to sniff and lick my ‘shiny red balls’ before deciding to hang them up on the Christmas Tree. [The Missus: “WHAT?!?”]

As you can see, Savannah did a great job of helping me decorate the Christmas Tree. 

We also had a great time hanging out together.

Look at how she tried to roll over to give me a big hug.

I tried to teach her how to do it. (But we ended up going in different directions!)

Anyway…

We were both so proud of our first joint effort in putting up the Christmas Tree.

I look forward to many more years of having my darling little sister help me out!

Love,

Homer (and little Savannah)