Friday, 27 December 2013

The Return of the Turkey God

I always look forward to celebrating Christmas. Do you want to know why? Well, first of all, I get to eat lots of yummy food and I get lots of Christmas presents from Santa. But, most importantly of all, I get the honour of receiving the ‘Turkey God’.

Woo hoo! Here's the Turkey God, resting on the chopping board in all of its glory!

There was something strange about this year’s Turkey God though. He seemed a bit smaller than usual. Last year, for example, he weighed in at a whopping 24lbs/11kg. This year, however, he was a paltry (or should that be poultry – heh heh) 5kg! Don’t believe it? Well, take a look at last year’s photo of the Turkey God and you can do a comparison and decide for yourself…

Photo of Turkey God taken last year - he was MASSIVE!

This year's Turkey God.

Even though he was a little slimmer, I couldn't help staring in awe at the delicious, I mean holy, Turkey God.

Soon the yearly ritual began. I went into a trance and started chanting deliriously…

Me chanting feverishly.

Once the chanting was over, there was only one thing to do...

I decided to kiss the Turkey God's feet! Unfortunately, the Missus wasn't very impressed by my show of devotion.

The Turkey God mysteriously disappeared for a few hours, so I decided to go and check out my Christmas presents…

YAY! Look at my fabulous hoard!

I got yummy treats galore...

…as well as a tiny hippopotamus!

Out of the blue, the Turkey God suddenly reappeared.

I'm not sure how, but he had developed a golden tan and was surrounded by those other demi-gods of mine - The Brussels Sprouts, Carrots and Roasted Potatoes gods.

Oh my dog! I can't wait to get tuck in!

Got to go now folks. There’s food to be eaten.

Merry Christmas everyone!

4 comments:

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

All hail the Turkey God! Heehee! Our Mom had some slices from the sacrificial cow for Christmas dinner, but we weren't allowed to kiss them. Well, at least not until after they had been grilled and Mom and Dad had had their fill! Merry Christmas to your entire family!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Mitch and Molly said...

Your turkey with the veges sure does look yummy, Homer! We hope you got samples of everything!

Love ya lots♥
Mitch and Molly

Dexter said...

That sure looks nomolicious.

Kisses,
Dexter

Sam said...

You are a lucky pup indeed! Our people don't even let us that close to the turkey (in our case - ham) God.

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!

Monty and Harlow