Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little ‘Porkie Pies'*

*Porkie Pies: Pork pie or Porkie pie, often shortened to porkie, is the British slang term for lie.

OK folks. I know I’m supposed to tell you more about my journey from Singapore to ‘Pie Land’. But before I do so, I wanted to let out a little rant.

This is based on my own observations. I have noticed that my humans, if given the right opportunity, like to lie to me or provide the wrong information, just to mislead Yours Truly.

For instance, during our stint in Italy, we would often travel and explore various exotic cities. On one particular trip, which I’ll never forget, my humans mentioned to me that we were going to a place called ‘Pizza’. Of course, I was elated! Imagine a city full of pizzas for me to sink my canines into! Pizza al Prosciutto, Pizza Neopolitan, Pizza Margherita, Pizza Marinara…oh my dog, PIZZA! How wonderful is that?

However, much to my disappointment, when we arrived at our destination, there was NO PIZZA IN SIGHT! Instead, all that I could see of interest, was this huge ‘Leaning Tower’. Then it dawned on me. We were in PISA, not Pizza! I was so upset to be duped!

Here I am in Pisa.

To add insult to injury, my humans took me there again (this time with Grandma), using the same false story!

Here I am in Pisa, AGAIN!

Another incident happened only recently. We had to leave Singapore to relocate elsewhere. When the Missus told me the destination, I was pretty sure that she mentioned 'Pie Land'. ‘PIE LAND!’ Sounds amazing, right? A place full of pies is indeed a dog’s paradise! Unfortunately, when I landed at Bangkok International airport, there was NOT A SINGLE PIE IN SIGHT! WHAT????????? It turned out that we were in THAILAND, not Pie Land!

This is me in my crate in Thailand's, Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport.

But the shenanigans didn’t stop there. Our final destination, where we were going to spend the next year or so, was supposed to be a place called ‘Papaya’. Oooh…I love papaya! Sounds fantastic, right? It’s so yummy and juicy and you ought to give it a try! For my fellow canine friends who aren’t familiar with papaya, do check out this link. So, I began to fantasise about a city lined up with loads of papayas of different sizes.

You guessed it, there’s no such place as ‘Papaya’. It turns out that we’ll actually be living in a place called PATTAYA. Arghhhhhhh…

Here I am, at my new home in Pattaya. (More about this later).

Pah! I’ll never trust my humans, and their made-up ‘food-places’ again!


Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

We hope woo are pondering worthy pawbakhks fur all this deception!

Khyra and Khousin Harley

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

*sheesh* They promise you Pie Land, and you get some silent (but statuesque) doggie friend instead? Talk about false advertising! I'd definitely have a chat with the humans about these deceptive practices. Oh, and tell them to order you a pizza while they are at it! ;-)

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Jake of Florida said...

I think they owe you lots of pizza and pies and papayas to make up for their serious deceptions!

Enjoy your new home and send us lots of photos.

Wirey woof,

Just Harry

Mitch and Molly said...

You had us all set to drool puddles looking at your post, Homer, but it never happened. Next time, right!

Love ya lots♥
Mitch and Molly

Sam said...

We've never heard of Pattaya - we are off to Google it. ;)

Monty and Harlow