I’m a Total Wreck! (But I’m Loving the Attention!)

As you know, I have recently undergone surgery to remove a potential tumour from my front left paw pad. For a week after the operation, my leg had to be heavily bandaged to avoid me inadvertently opening up the stitches around my wound. This meant that I had to ‘hop’ around on three legs.

Now, let me tell you, this can be quite a challenge at times and also pretty uncomfortable. I had no problems with peeing but when it came to pooping, that was a different story! Nobody ever taught me how to poop on three legs. As a result, I couldn’t ‘go’ for five days!

Gosh. FIVE DAYS! That’s a lot of poop stored up in your body! Eeks!

Here I am as a ‘three-legged pooch’. Despite the discomfort, I still look like a happy boy, don’t you think?

Unfortunately, the tumour hasn’t been the only affliction I’ve been dealing with. I’ve also suffered from an infection on my (handsome) face and an inflammation of my, AHEM, ‘crown jewels’.

But it hasn’t all been bad news. I have had to visit the vet on a daily basis and the attention that I have been receiving has been first class. Let me show you what I mean…

Here’s the vet checking out the post-surgery wound on my paw.

She was always meticulous in giving me a long, relieving massage…

…and after the daily physiotherapy, my leg was carefully bandaged up once more.

Next, check-out my ‘scabby’ face. Apparently, this wound was caused by a bug bite which subsequently got infected.

Each day, the nurse would carefully shave the fur around the affected area…

…before diligently dabbing antiseptic lotion on my face.

Finally it was time to handle my delicate, AHEM, AHEM, ‘boy-bits’. (Please don’t read any further if you are of a shy disposition…)

This is me having my, AHEM, AHEM, AHEM, scrotum dabbed with antiseptic lotion.

Let me explain. It appears that I have had a strong reaction to something or other (possibly floor detergent) which has caused an inflammation in my, AHEM, AHEM, AHEM, AHEM, ‘nether regions’.

Here’s the pretty vet handling my AHEM, AHEM, AHEM, AHEM, AHEM, ‘male parts’. (Dad said he was really jealous, but I didn’t know what he meant. The Missus didn’t seem too amused by his comment.)

Let me leave you with a picture of me being pampered by all of the pretty veterinary doctors and nurses (and an envious-looking Dad).

Sigh…It’s a hard life.

Love,

Homer