Football

As you can see in the background of the photo, there were people playing football. My tackling, attacking and defending skills are impeccable and I run faster than any professional, so I hoped that I would get a game. I wanted to join them so I volunteered myself to the lads to be a reserve.

Observing the match.

Missus said that, since I am a professional player, I shouldn't close my eyes for the photo shoot. She said that I should open my eyes and also look cool and stick out my chest all the time, just in case I meet any irritating 'paparazzi'!

I hope this photo will win me fans and gain publicity. Dad will also try to speak to Glenn Roeder (the current Newcastle United manager) so that I can play for the Toon Army. Toon Army! Toon Army!

OK, got to go, the whistle has blown and one man is down. I need to get onto the field! Homer to the rescue!

The Match Report: Homer scored his first goal during the last 10 minutes before half time. In the second half, he scored again with a penalty kick. His sleek movements were so forminable, and he finished by getting his hat-trick from a corner kick. That was one of his 'Golden Glories'.

Homer was voted 'Dog/Man of the match'. He was offered a 10 million pounds contract with Newcastle United. Payment was to be made in high quality kibbles, bones and toys.